Daybreakers. Written and Directed by Michael and Peter Spierig. In Theaters.

Oh Daybreakers, how I loved you so! Finally, a vampire movie where the undead actually suck peoples blood, rip out jugulars, and they don't sparkle like diamonds in sunlight. Yeah, that's a jab at Twilight (still the worst vampire movie ever made, as well as one the worst films of all time). Daybreakers was my 30th birthday present from my dad. I told him it was coming out on my birthday, and I wanted my wife, my sister, her boyfriend, and my dad to come with me to see a true vampire film. Honestly, if I had the money, I would have driven to the nearest middle school taken every tween girl out of class and taken them all to see this movie. Twilight is not the be all and end all of vampires. Hell, they're not even vampires at all. They are "vegetarian", they like to fly up trees, and they love to dance under the moonlight like some kind of horrible teen flick gone wrong! Daybreakers will show you vampires!

The basic premise of the film is a vampire virus has made the majority of the world undead. The movie begins with the vampire race running short on humans to feed on. Soon, the vampires will be out of blood and transform into "underdwellers", ugly human-bat like creatures that live under ground and eat anything and everything that moves. So, the main character, played by Ethan Hawke, happens to be a vampire scientist who no longer wants to be a vampire, yet works for the largest human harvesting company in the world. His job is to create a blood substitute that can be created in a lab, so everyone in the world can be a vampire without the threat of no more food. The movie is really about what happens when we use up all our resources. It's a look at where we as humans are going right now if we continue on the path we've been walking. Now, don't get me wrong, the movie does have a moral, but that doesn't make it boring at all. There is enough blood and gore to satisfy even me (which is saying a lot), and enough story and character development to satisfy those who like their movies to speak to them on a deeper level. I absolutely loved this movie! It was so nice to see a vampire latch onto someones neck and bite off a chunk of flesh. It's been too long! Plus, the movie has one of the most unexpected moments within the first 20 minutes. I'll just say this, if you go see this movie, when they bring in a vampire soldier to test the new blood substitute, get ready for one of the most awesome scenes of gore in quite some time.

Halloween II. Written and Directed by Rob Zombie. On dvd.

First, a comment to all you movie snobs, Rob Zombie's movies KICK ASS! Everything I heard, from pre-production to dvd release was how awful Halloween II was. Let me kill that negativity right off the top. I loved Halloween II! It had all the elements of a great slasher movie. Gore. Check. Profanity. Check. Sex. Check. Drugs and alcohol. Check. Creative kill scenes. Check. Okay, maybe the story line was a little weak, does that even matter? The first Nightmare on Elm Street wasn't going to win any Oscars for writing either! I believe all the negativity that surrounded this movie came from stuck up, romantic comedy loving, wouldn't know a good movie if it sat on their face, movie critics. From the first scene to the credits, I was in horror movie heaven. The true test, and the most accurate gauge of how good a horror movie is, happens to be my wife. In the past 8 years I have subjected her to some of the most gruesome, disgusting, and over the top horror movies ever made. Let me say this, she has taken it like a champ! So, when we sat down to watch Halloween II for the first time, I was intrigued by what my wife would have to say. After the final scene, while the credits began to roll, she turns to me and says, "within the first 15 minutes of that movie, I wanted to puke twice!" JACKPOT! Horror movie gold! If it makes my wife want to vomit, you can bet your ass I LOVED IT!

I'm not really going to get too in depth with the synopsis of the film. It's about a killer in a William Shatner mask who comes back to Illinois to kill his only surviving family member. Pretty self explanatory unless you've been living under a rock in the middle of Iraq for the past 30 years. Just know this...from House of a 1000 Corpses, Devils Rejects, Halloween, The Haunted Life of El Superbeasto, Rob Zombie has been making GREAT horror films. They are bleak, ultra-violent jaunts into a world of chaos and perversion, and as long as he keeps cranking them out, I will continue to shell out my hard earned money to see them. If you don't like Rob Zombie films, well, you are no friend of mine!

Trick 'r' Treat. Written and Directed by Michael Dougherty

Trick 'r' Treat, the elusive, rarely seen, but much talked about horror anthology is one of the first horror films that I followed from the first time I saw the preview (in early 2007), until the day it was released on DVD (October 6, 2009). When I first caught the preview on a movie I can't remember I was hooked. I waited for the announcement that it had arrived at my hometown theater. I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited. Just like everyone else in the world. After getting rave reviews from critics during early screenings, the movie was inexplicably dropped from the studio that was backing it. Rumors flew. Some said the movie was "terrible", others a "triumph", but no one knew what would become of Trick 'r' Treat. As I waited I heard every so called insider say it was going to be delayed and re-released under a new studio, but that day never came. Then, as if Heaven opened up and God smiled down on the world, a DVD release date was issued under Warner Premiere. And all the horror geeks rejoiced! Including me. Now, I have to be honest and say a friend of mine got me an advanced copy of the movie before it hit the shelves. I carried the DVD home as if it were a newborn child. I strapped it into its own seat belt, sang it sweet lullabies, and made sure it was as comfortable as it could be. When I walked through the door I ignored everything else around me and headed straight for the DVD player. In the movie went, and down my ass went.

Usually, when you want something so bad, and you have waited so long, it can turn out to be a major let down unless it is art of a type the world has never seen. Trick 'r' Treat was that art! It was worth the wait.

Trick 'r' Treat is numerous stories woven together seamlessly on a traditional Halloween night in a small town. Everyone has their secrets, some of them more than one. As it unfolds, we get to meet a murderous principal, a preschool killer, a group of "special" women, a bus driver who makes the wrong decision, kids with handicaps in the wrong place, a group of teenagers who take a prank too far, and one of the greatest horror characters of all-time, Sam. Each story is told in its own time, but all of the characters "bump" into each other at one point or another. Most films that try and weave separate stories into one coherent "main" story fall flat at some point. Not Trick 'r' Treat. Each story is as good as its predecessor, and as the movie progresses you will find yourself immersed in the characters lives and the lore of small town Halloween. I am not going to give any of the plot for this movie, because I love it so much. I want you all to not rent, but go out and BUY this film. Michael Dougherty is a small time writer/director that created one of the top five horror movies of the past 30 years. I have watched this film more than 10 times since I bought it on October 6Th. It is that good! Please, heed my advice, if you are a horror movie fan, or a fan of the Halloween holiday Trick 'r' Treat is a MUST see. Enjoy.

Dead Girl written by Trent Haaga. Directed by Marcel Sarmiento

Let me begin this blog by first expressing my total disgust with the so called "critic" that wrote a ball bashing article on this movie in Rue Morgue magazine. You sir are a douchebag, and know nothing about movies. That being said, I had been waiting for Dead Girl to make its way to my local video store for quite some time. I had been reading and reading, blogs, articles, websites, etc about this amazingly brutal movie that was touring the filmfest circuits. I waited with eager anticipation, until the day I finally drove down to Hastings, paid my 5 dollars and brought one of the greatest horror movies of the last decade into my home.

Dead Girl is the story of, you guessed it, a dead girl. Yet, it's not that cut and dry. The movie begins with a friendship between two high school boys. One, the typical outsider. He thinks he's a badass, but no one else seems to care. The second, your typical loner. He's got his eyes on the hottest girl in school, but he lost his chance to be with her when they were younger. So, he stares at her from across the quad, hoping that one day she'll see him staring, remember all the good times they had and coming running back to his waiting arms. They are polar opposites. One is the leader, the other the follower. One is a do-er, the other is a talker. So, when the badass decides he wants to ditch class and take a walk to the old psychiatric hospital, the loner has little complaint.

The story begins when the two boys find themselves trapped in the mental hospital trying to escape a rabid dog. As they try and outrun the mutt they fall deeper and deeper into the maze of corridors and locked doors. Until they come upon a door that seems to be the way out. Instead of leading them to the light of day, the rusted old door opens on a room used in apparent experiments. As the two look around the dark room, they stumble upon a naked girl chained to a gurney. Their first thought is she must be dead, but they are only half right. Here is where the movie becomes a masterpiece. It is the classic case of "what would you do?" On one side you have the badass who wants to use the girl for his demented sexual fantasies. On the other, is the loner whose conscience won't allow him to be a part of such a disgusting act. So, as the movie rolls, the badass becomes infatuated with the "dead girl." He begins to spend every waking moment in the torture chamber with her. He skips school, doesn't hang out with his friends, and soon begins to recruit others to partake of his prize. Not long after, the badass comes to the conclusion that the girl is "undead." He has shot her, broke her neck, and beat her to death, but she cannot die. Meanwhile the loners conscience has gotten the best of him. He begins to scheme about how he can set the girl free, and save his friend from the psychotic spiral he has traveled. Needless to say, his schemes backfire and the brutality escalates. The sex scenes are disturbing, the violence is unnerving, and the morality scale is swaying mightily. Without giving away the ending or the major turning point of the movie I will end my synopsis here. Let me just say this, the scene with the star quarterback in the bathroom is GREAT!

Now, back to my opening statement. This douchebag magazine critic bashed Dead Girl, claiming it to be "garbage parading as art." This movie was not only disturbing, disgusting, violent, gutwrenching, and brutal, but it was also brilliant. I have never sat down and watched a movie and felt more uncomfortable than when I watched Dead Girl. I kept asking myself "what would I do?" Honestly, I would have been more like the loner than the badass, but there were moments when I doubted my own morals. Not many movies can do that. Make you feel dirty for watching. Believe it or not, I actually stopped the movie as the end credits rolled, undressed and took a blazing hot shower. There is no need to explain further. Go rent Dead Girl.

Zombieland. In theaters.

If you're like me, you've been fairly disappointed in all the recent zombie flicks to hit the big screen (or the small screen for that matter). How many times can you watch the same old thing? Disease hits a major city. People get sick. People die. People come back to life. People eat people. It's always the same, the zombies are in no way as intelligent as their human counterparts, and can often be left in the dust if their prey simply breaks into a jog. So, needless to say I have been waiting far too long for something different. I needed a zombie movie that I could sit through without saying "I've seen this. Nine hundred times before." Enter Zombieland. Billed as a Horror/Comedy, it doesn't shy from either genre. With enough gore to satisfy even the craziest gore hound, and enough comedy to keep most people laughing throughout, the movie rarely misses and opportunity to appease everyone.

Starring Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland), playing his normal neurotic teenage character, which he nails once again, Zombieland starts out with a bang. Columbus (Eisenberg) is our narrator starting the movie with his "rules about surviving Zombieland", which pop up throughout the movie and are more often than not followed by uproarious laughter. I, personally, was laughing within the first 3 minutes. This fete was enough to make me toss aside my "zombie skeptical goggles" and relax. The hilarity had only just begun. Soon Columbus meets up with the brightest star in the film, Woody Harrelson's character, Tallahassee. With a penchant for killing zombies in new and creative ways, and an unhealthy obsession with Twinkies, Harrelson steals every scene. I am not going to give away too much of the plot, I want everyone to go out and see this movie for themselves. I will tell you, Emma Stone (Superbad), who plays Wichita, is very very hot toting a shotgun and a bad attitude. And, the scene in which the characters find themselves spending the night in a Beverly Hills mansion is worth paying the ten dollars by itself. So, if you are a zombie movie lover, a zombie movie hater, a lover of all things comedic, or have no sense of humor whatsoever, Zombieland is the perfect movie for you. I was entertained from the opening scene to the ending credits, and when it was over I wanted to walk out to the lobby and pay another ten dollars and see it again. Here's hoping for more zombie movies that don't take themselves too seriously. The original and only good zombie movie ever made George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead, has been done, and redone again and again. We should all accept there will never be another as good as the original and stop making "serious" zombie movies. Take your cues from Zombieland, dead people who try and eat other people are funny. Make that work for you! So, scrounge up ten bucks, head down to your local theater and spend an hour and a half with Zombieland, I promise you will LOVE IT!

Inside (Directed by Alexandre Bustillo) on dvd.

I was thinking extra hard about which movie I should use for my first official "horror movie review." It had to be something that could summarize the type of horror movie I enjoy, without being an overly Hollywood "blockbuster," which can be hit or miss (mostly miss). So, I thought, what better movie than the French import Inside? My first experience with said movie, out under Dimension Extreme, came back in April of 2008 when I picked it up by accident at my local video store. After reading the summary, looking at the still shots, I decided why the hell not! Needless to say, I was enthralled by this film. My wife and I had blown up the air mattress, popped some microwave popcorn and settled in on the floor in our living room, then hardly breathed for 82 minutes. It was a gut punch from out of nowhere. The movie is in French with English subtitles, which can sometimes take away from the movie-viewer connection, but with this movie the foreign language just adds to the feeling of utter hopelessness. Starring Beatrice Dalle (who should have won an award for most psychotic person ever captured on film), as a suspicious intruder at the home of a young pregnant woman played by Alysson Paradis (younger sister of Vanessa Paradis aka Mrs. Johnny Depp). What starts out as a possible burglar trying to take advantage of a single woman home alone, quickly turns into a nightmare of bloody violence that spirals out of control until the final scenes which were some of the most gruesome I have ever seen (and I've seen A LOT!). There is a much deeper story involved, amidst the death and dismemberment, but I don't want to give anything away. My only recommendation if you plan on renting Inside, if you are pregnant, know someone who is pregnant, or have been pregnant within the last six months, DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE! Wait until you have no ties to anyone pregnant, you will thank me later. When you do go out and pick this movie up, which I highly suggest, be prepared for a relentlessly violent, emotionally scarring, gut wrenching, gore soaked glimpse into a woman's life that you will be thanking God when it's over for sparing you the horrors she had to face. When it comes to horror movies (which to me should be about hopelessness, blood, and unhappy endings) it doesn't get much better than Alexandre Bustillo's Inside.